| You've seen those ads on TV promising amazing results
from all sorts of contraptions.
Well there's no need to invest in fancy equipment.
If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need.
The following exercises can (and will) be done anytime, anywhere.
Inner thighs:
Place the dog's favorite toy between thighs. Press tighter
than the dog can pull.
Do not attempt barelegged - dogs who favor shortcuts to success will just
dig the toy out. You could be damaged.
Upper body strength:
Lift the dog - off the couch, off the bed.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
As the dog ages, the process is reversed - onto the couch, onto the bed
and so on…
Balance and coordination:
Exercise 1.
Remove your puppy from unsuitable tight places.
If they're too small for him, they're certainly too small for you. Do it
anyway.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Exercise 2.
Practice not falling when your dog bounds across the full length of
the room,
sails through the air and slams both paws into the back of your knees.
Exercise 3. (for use with multiple dogs)
Remove all dogs from lap and answer the phone before it stops ringing.
Alternate:
For older dogs: attempt to cross a room without tripping over the
dog.
Get off your couch without crushing any part of a sleeping elder-dog.
Upper arms:
Throw the ball.
Throw the squeaky toy.
Throw the frisbee.
Repeat till nauseous.
Alternate:
Tug the rope.
Tug the pull toy.
Tug the sock.
Repeat until your shoulder is dislocated or the dog gives up
(we all know which comes first).
Hand coordination:
Remove foreign object from locked jaw. This exercise is
especially popular with puppy owners.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Remember, this is a timed exercise. Movements must be quick and
precise (think concert pianist) to prevent trips to the vet which only
offer the minimal exercise benefit of jaw firming clenches.
Calves:
After the dog has worn out the rest of your body, hang a
circular toy on your ankle and let the dog tug while you tug back.
Warning: this is feasible only for those with strong bones and small
dogs.
Have you taken your calcium supplement today?
Alternate:
Run after the dog - pick any reason, there are plenty.
Dogs of any size can be used for this exercise. Greyhounds are inadvisable.
Neck Muscles:
Attempt
to outmaneuver the canine tongue
headed for your ear, mouth, or eyeball.
This is a lifelong fitness program.
A dog is never too old or feeble to lick the inside of your nostril
when you least expect it.

Copyright 1996 Elizabeth Cusulas
Tale Waggers - Stories for Dog People
www.talewaggers.com
All Rights Reserved
Reproduction without written permission is expressly forbidden
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